Constantly called to school: how to behave? How to talk to a teacher about a grade: a step-by-step guide for parents A conversation with a school principal.

The head of the modern Moscow school is distinguished by incredible determination. Even taking into account the attractive salary, not everyone will agree to work in such a position on a daily basis in multitasking mode, carry a huge burden and responsibility on their shoulders, and find non-traditional solutions to emerging problems. Nevertheless, the flow of those wishing to lead the school does not dry out.

School with experience

The path to directorship is multi-stage. It is entered by those who have no restrictions on employment in the field of education and have a management diploma. The teacher education of the candidate is not a prerequisite.

“It is normatively determined that a manager must have a higher professional education in the areas of training “State and municipal administration”, “Management”, “Personnel management” and work experience in teaching positions for at least five years, explains Rector of the Moscow Institute of Open Education (MIOO) Alexei Rytov. - Or the second option: higher professional education and additional professional education in the field of state and municipal administration or management and economics. As well as at least five years of experience in teaching or leadership positions. Note: the lack of pedagogical education in the requirements is compensated by the presence of experience in pedagogy, because even a person with excellent managerial knowledge often finds it difficult to understand some of the features of the functioning of such a complex organism as a school.

Live exam

Applicants are subject to a two-stage assessment.

The first qualification test takes place in the form of computer testing. Within one hour, it is necessary to answer 40 questions related to the management of personnel, resources, processes, results and information. The questions are formulated as descriptions of everyday situations that may arise.

For example, “How is the amount of a subsidy for the fulfillment of a state task in terms of the cost of maintaining the property of an educational organization determined?”.

Or a question from the field of information management: “The biology teacher of your school was among the finalists of the international competition. The school was approached by a TV channel correspondent who wants to organize a recording of the interview. To prepare, he needs information about the hero. What information do you have the right to give to the correspondent without the personal consent of the biology teacher?

Resource Management Task: “The school needs to purchase interactive whiteboards. The contract manager scheduled the auction in accordance with the requirements of the law, having formed the initial price based on the received commercial offers. What needs to be analyzed in order to understand the correctness of pricing?

Since the manager must build management based on the regulatory framework, only clear answers with reference to specific documents are allowed during testing.

Candidates for director devote several months to preparing for this stage. They call the materials posted on the MIEO website a serious help: texts of documents, lists of references and a demo version of the test. By the way, the test is in the public domain, any visitor to the site can take it.

The second stage of certification (for those who have overcome the first) is an interview at the Department of Education with members of the Attestation Commission (consisting not of officials, but of school directors) and secret electronic voting. This process is going live on the Internet, video is being recorded, after which the videos are posted on the department's website. Such openness, firstly, removes any questions about the transparency of the procedure, and secondly, the records act as a kind of teaching aid for future candidates.

Prior to the interview, potential candidates can search the MIOS website for advice on effective public speaking, common mistakes, and even appearance.

The contract is not concluded with everyone

However, it is still too early for excellent students who have scored the necessary points to occupy the director's office.

“I would like to draw attention to one point that lies in the legal field of labor relations. There can be no signing or extension of an employment contract with the head of an educational organization who has not passed certification, - notes Head of the Department of Education of the capital Isaac Kalina. - However, the passed attestation of a school principal or a candidate for this position is not an automatic obligation to sign or extend an employment contract. Certification is one of the conditions, but not a universal pass to the leaders of the capital's school.

For a month now, Ivan Dorodnov has been trying himself as a school principal in the Mitino region. He is 28. In the recent past, he is a teacher of physics and computer science. However, he plans to continue teaching in a leadership position.

The initiator of his nomination as a candidate for certification was the leadership of the former school. Fellow teachers, knowing Dorodnov's skills as chairman of the school trade union organization, assumed that such an outcome was possible.

“While preparing for certification, I realized that it would be more difficult in a new position than I thought, - he does not hide Acting Principal of School No. 1747 Ivan Dorodnov. - The measure of responsibility is growing strongly. The actions of the director are multipolar, you have to be everywhere and everywhere. I got acquainted with the team, it was the first meeting. I came to school in the summer, so I delve into current repairs and everything that is not directly related to educational activities.

There is also an attestation procedure for those who replace the head of the school during his absence. Since 2013, 2,242 people have completed testing and interviews for this purpose. Deputy directors, teachers, methodologists, educational psychologists, speech therapists undergo exactly the same tests as the future director!

“At the interview, the commission asked me a question about how I see the school of the future,” recalls the recently passed certification history teacher of school No. 1293 Natalya Klimova. - At this point, I had to quickly orient myself so as not to miss anything in my answer.

I had administrative experience in the past, and passing the certification allowed me to take the position of deputy director for the content of education. This work is colossal, so it is simply impossible to work as a teacher full-time - something will suffer. But I would like to teach history for a few hours a week.”

In addition, current school directors undergo certification for compliance with the position. Positive results during the two stages guarantee them the right to lead the school further.

However, according to statistics, over the past four years, 98 managers were not certified - 56 did not pass the test, 42 did not pass the interview.

“With a leader who is not certified for compliance with the position, the labor contract is terminated, this is a requirement of the law,” sums up Alexei Rytov. - And yet, termination does not become a limitation for further self-improvement. Typically, leaders who fail will apply as candidates and pass the certification milestone.”

16.12.2003, 16:08

The problem is this. My daughter is now in the first grade. She is now with her grandmother and goes to school there. I want to take her to school in Moscow. areas. So, I have to agree on this with the director of the school - there are only 3 schools near the house, so there are not very many attempts.
The problem is that 1. Nastya is now studying in Uzbekistan (though in a Russian school)
2. Nastya was sent to school from the age of 6.
I do not want the child to lose 1 year. Therefore, give advice on how to negotiate with the directors. What to offer them as a bribe?

16.12.2003, 16:19

or in another form (if you have the opportunity - for example, buy / donate a computer (s), organize repairs / replacements, for example, doors in classrooms, etc.) - the director herself will offer you options, I think.

Masha Mashkina

16.12.2003, 16:23

And what problems can there be? Is the child registered in the suburbs? Many children have gone to school since the age of 6, so everything should be fine here. And the school in Uzbekistan is the same school, even if it is not Russian, this is not a reason for any problems with getting into a Russian school. Take your time with bribes, choose a school more thoughtfully and picky. In the school to which your house is assigned, the girl is simply obliged to accept.

Was the husband satisfied?

16.12.2003, 16:30

16.12.2003, 16:35

Masha, we are just doing registration - we bought an apartment a month ago - so this week or next.
The schools seem to be both good, though in one they say to teach the beginning of the classes is wonderful, but she was already asked and she said that she did not want to take anyone in the middle of the year. But I think that if the director says

16.12.2003, 16:37

And in what phrases? For example, I understand that the school has a lot of problems, maybe I can help you solve some, if you go forward?

16.12.2003, 17:52

You have to negotiate with the teacher first. Ask moms who are expecting kids after school to find out who to go to. Then go to the teacher and find out what you need. At us business has managed in a new tulle on windows. But, we went to the school by registration, but to the best teacher. The director was not even seen. If you go to a school to which you are not assigned, then a conversation with the director cannot be avoided, but, perhaps, if you agree with the teacher, she will talk to him herself and will not have to pay extra. In general, act, the most important thing for an elementary school is a strong teacher.

16.12.2003, 18:11

The teachers have already been chosen, but she said that she would not accept in the middle of the year. I didn't ask. Are we registered for school or what is it called?

16.12.2003, 23:53

And find out what she really needs. And under what circumstances will take your child. And talk and talk and talk. Maybe get through to her.

Masha Mashkina

17.12.2003, 01:41

Yes, I agree, because through the director, this is such violence against the teacher, which can then go to the child, so much so that you don’t dig, but it will be bad: ((

17.12.2003, 07:16

The child should be taken to school even without registration-propiska (+) I don’t know how new these rules are, but this is a fact. I myself work at a school and face this problem almost every week.
Yesoi chose a teacher, it is better to negotiate with the teacher personally, promising, for example, help in decorating the class, buying, say, a tape recorder for the class, etc. And only then, having secured the consent, go to the director.

17.12.2003, 08:16

Aren't you ashamed to write garbage? Freak ...

17.12.2003, 09:08

"if you go forward" - it turns out that you set the conditions - it does not sound good. Better something like "I understand that now many schools are experiencing financial problems and, of course, I am ready to help the school to the best of my ability." You can safely let in compassionate words that, due to the current family situation, you temporarily had to not see your daughter, that you miss her very much, she, too, etc., that the girl is hardworking, not spoiled, loves to study, and so on. blah blah.

Yes, even below people write that you need to negotiate with the teacher. Of course, after you get the director's consent in principle, get to know the teacher, let him look at the girl, test her. It is very important to establish a good relationship with the class teacher from the very beginning (in elementary grades now often 4-5 teachers are involved, but the class teacher, of course, is of the greatest importance), perhaps she will tell you what to raise during the winter holidays, what to pay attention to and etc. So it would be useful to add a box of good sweets to the questions - all the more, the case seems to be just before the New Year.

17.12.2003, 11:59

She herself directed the conversation in the right direction without any problems - both about financial assistance, and which group to go to, etc. As I understand it, dozens of parents go to them with the same conversations, so do not strain yourself in advance.

also a woman

17.12.2003, 15:58

I would go to the director first. And she said that the registration is being processed and you want to send the child to this school "at the place of residence." If there was already a registration, then they are definitely obliged to take it, without any. If not, then options are possible, taking into account the middle of the year. If you have any documents confirming registration of registration, you must show them. Start a conversation naturally. Now, if there is a clear refusal, then say that "we are ready to help the school financially", this phrase is enough. But most likely the headmistress herself will hint to you that it would be nice to help the school. You should not give or show a willingness to bribe the headmistress - this is both illegal and unprofitable for you, but helping the school is real for children, including yours, and given the poor budgeting, it’s completely fair.

17.12.2003, 18:12

I would start with a blue eye and describe the situation. You may not even need a bribe. Although, for sure, the director will ask the sacramental question "how can you help the school." And you can ask yourself if you see that things are not going well, something like "maybe it is still possible to somehow solve our issue." Usually such phrases are understood correctly :)

18.12.2003, 08:47

What is your city? Maybe I can help?

18.12.2003, 10:42

Krasnogorsk

18.12.2003, 12:43

I'm sorry, but what do you see as the problem?
We moved to St. Petersburg when the children were 9 and 10, they also started at the age of 6, but the youngest was in the program for six-year-olds, so there was no choice, out of 3 for six-year-olds they were sent to the third (according to that program, to the fourth) grade. I myself decided in which one, at 5 or 6, to determine it. from the 5th grade, and we were transferred to an English-speaking school. But we studied first with a teacher and her level was enough for my eyes. I myself decided to repeat the fifth, I was afraid of problems with adaptation and Russian. helped out all kinds of circles. And there were no obstacles from the administration. And why should they be if the child has already finished the first grade?

Let's leave aside the debate about whether parents should interfere in their children's education at all. Be that as it may, each of us has our own experience of relationships with the school, our own attitude to the educational process and our own views on the future of our children.

No matter how much you persuade adults to leave their studies in the sphere of responsibility of the child, only the most courageous and most desperate parents can do this. For the rest, from time to time (or constantly) there is a need to come to school and deal with marks.

How to do it constructively?

Let's start with general provisions. Today, the entire education system is officially “tailored” to the needs of the student. Any disputed mark is rounded in favor of the child.

The quarter mark is set according to strict rules (arithmetic mean of written works with a possible increase towards the prevailing score). Annual - displayed as the arithmetic mean of quarters (and no "I look at the third quarter" - this norm is no longer valid. We calculate the amount, divide by four and round in favor of the student).

Knowledge assessment standards are strictly controlled and are publicly available on any specialized site.

Most schools lead electronic journals, in which parents can monitor the accumulation of marks in real time. That is, if the teacher suddenly starts to “underestimate” the indicators, you will notice this before the quarterly and annual marks are set. And the sooner you notice this, the easier it will be to resolve the issue.

But! It should be understood that the child is not always right and does not always tell you the truth. His low mark may be well-deserved - and then your claims may backfire: the school may create a commission that will evaluate the knowledge of your student, and the correctness of the teacher will be proven publicly. It is unlikely that then you will be able to agree on something with the team. Therefore, before you go to talk about the mark, study the problem comprehensively:

maybe your child just doesn't deserve the grade you're going to ask for?

If you are sure that you are right, then:

Collect and bring together all the information about the progress of your student, about grades in other subjects, about the control and independent works written by him, leaf through his workbooks on the subject and clearly formulate your fears, suspicions and suggestions for correcting the situation.

Maybe your child is too slow and you ask for extra homework for him? Maybe the student was sick a lot and he needs extra classes?

Or maybe the teacher does not notice his inclinations and abilities, which are so clearly revealed outside the lesson? Or is it just calculated over and over again, producing an average score? And maybe even, he openly finds fault and realizes his own complexes, mocking children?

As far as possible, draw conclusions calmly and Dial the class teacher's number.

Do not discuss the situation with other parents in the class, do not bring it up for discussion in your yard or department at work. Idle curiosity and empty emotions of other people, each of whom has his own experience, his own school traumas and his own emotional reactions, will knock you off the constructive wave. Call the class teacher directly and ask for a meeting.

According to his job description, the class teacher is obliged to monitor the performance of children in his class and resolve any conflict situations between teachers and children. If he doesn't - gently but firmly insist and let us understand that we are determined to understand the situation to the end.

As a rule, at this stage, minor and random conflicts are resolved by a kind of teacher's brawl in favor of the student: they will give you a detailed report on his work in the lesson, offer something to learn or improve, complain about discipline - and the situation will improve. If the class teacher does not make contact, move on.

Do not shout, do not threaten, do not go to insults - calmly but firmly ask for a meeting with the subject teacher. They don’t have the right to refuse you, just as they don’t have the right not to let you go to the lesson. You can agree to come to class, sit in class, see how the relationship between children and the teacher is built, how your student responds. You have the right to look at the subject control book (they are always kept at the school, you cannot take them home) and compare the grading standards with how your student is graded.

At this stage, a normal adequate “subject teacher” should make a constructive conversation with you and draw up a plan with you to “save” your grade. If there is no forward movement, we move on.

Now - director's office. It is better to call and arrange a meeting in advance - because it is not known at what moment you will find the director spontaneously. This position is nervous, and your question must be resolved calmly and thoroughly. If necessary, ask the school psychologist to attend the meeting.

Do not fall for trying to translate the conversation into an emotional plane, if they suddenly start. As a rule, the remaining few percent of protracted conflicts at this stage receive a positive resolution - the student is given an additional task, the teacher - the required recommendations.

But if your specific conflict, your specific mark won't budge here too - call RO. You can go - just pre-clarify the schedule for receiving citizens by the boss. Of course, after such a call, your child and all involved teachers will have a hard time, because the school will be turned on its head, checking the quality of the process. This is rarely forgiven, but you will bring your case to its logical conclusion.

A mark - if you, of course, deserve it - you will be given what is required according to the norms, teachers will be punished, administrations will be put on display.

But, to be honest, truly underestimated marks are very rare.

So before you demand - think carefully: does your offended person know the subject for a high rating?

VELVET: Anna Sevyarynets

Probably, there is no such person who, during the years of schooling, would not have misunderstandings with teachers. The younger the child, the more parents are aware of how he lives at school, how his relationship with teachers and classmates develops. But as the student grows older, mom and dad gradually move away from the daily details of his life outside the home. The child shows more and more independence in their school affairs. Therefore, calls from school and an invitation to talk often take parents by surprise: “Everything was fine, and suddenly something happened ...” What will help to feel more confident if a teenager has difficulty communicating with a teacher? How to support a child in a difficult situation? The psychologist answered the questions of the portal browser Oksana Lushankina(St. Petersburg).

Attack and move away - ineffective

When parents are called to school, they may be confused and not know how to behave when talking with a teacher, head teacher, principal. Mom and dad can experience fear, guilt, resentment, anger. The outcome of the problem depends on how they cope with their emotions.

Ineffective parenting styles in such a case are withdrawal and attack. At suspension parents do not want to delve into the situation and give the responsibility for solving the problem to the child. For example, the mother keeps aloof, afraid of harm: "If I intervene, it will be even worse. They will find fault with him." And dad says: “You figure it out there so that they don’t pull me and my mother.” It may seem that he is right, because children should be responsible for their actions and learn to solve their problems on their own. In fact, there is no question of raising independence - parents just make the child understand that they are not on his side. From mom and dad, he receives a message: "Make it so that we are not touched. You are for yourself." Parents do not think that, being in a difficult situation, the child needs protection, not teaching...

From attacks no more benefit. "It's your own fault, it's all because of your character!" - accuse the parents of the daughter, having received a signal from the school. At the same time, they begin to find out the details from the parents of classmates, raise everyone on their ears and run to the school to prove that their child is not to blame. Everyone falls under their hot hand: family members, teachers, classmates of the child and their parents.

Suspension and attack strategies are ineffective because it is not in the best interests of the children. What is really going on? Adults, recalling their childhood experience, when they were alone with a problem, try to protect myself- the student who was offended and for whom his parents did not stand up.

I had to communicate with parents in schools. I saw how independent and successful adults, crossing the threshold of an educational institution, turned into timid schoolchildren who look up at teachers and are afraid to enter the director's office. Therefore, in order to understand what is happening between your student and teacher, to understand the essence of the conflict and help the child, try to help yourself first. You can step back from the situation for a while to take a breath, collect your thoughts, sort out your feelings - and only after that go to school confidently.

Conflicts at home and at school…are the same

Any quarrels are part of a dialogue between people, and it is important to understand the context of the situation. Friction between teachers and students occurs for the same reasons that parents and children quarrel. At the heart of conflicts are questions of love and acceptance, the struggle for power, responsibility, authority and boundaries. The only difference is that at home you can ignore the behavior of the child and expect that "he will outgrow." And at school to ignore the conflict situation will not work. Something will have to be done, because what is happening is interfering with the educational process for which everyone at school has gathered.

Do not look for right and wrong

Do not look for the right and the wrong. It is better to find out what is important for everyone in the current situation. For example, if it is important for the teacher that the student respects him, and the student wants the teacher to show him more attention, you should look for ways to ensure that everyone gets their own.

Be a reliable rear for the child

The child may experience fear, resentment, a sense of injustice, anger. It is important to be near him and talk about these feelings. You can support your child by sharing memories of your conflicts with teachers. He will be relieved that he is not the only one in trouble. A reliable rear for a child is necessary - this is the basis for an exit in any situation.

goodbye anxiety

When an adult comes to the understanding: "Neither me nor my child wants harm at school," the anxiety goes away, and only the technical part of the problem remains. But when the parent continues to worry, he is unable to help the child.

Do not run to school for a petty reason

Parental intervention is mandatory when the situation is associated with the threat or fact of physical and psychological abuse. In other cases, it must be borne in mind that in the relationship between the student and the teacher there is everything that is in any other relationship. Quarrels, like happy moments, are inevitable. Excessive parental control harms the student-teacher dialogue. For example, a student shares with his mother how he sorted out the relationship with the teacher. The child is proud that he defended his opinion, although it was difficult for him in the dispute, and the mother raises an alarm: "He is offended!" She perceives the situation based on her attitude "if people argue, it's bad."

It is important to believe the child when he confidently says: "Mom, I'll figure it out myself. This is my business!" and learn to deal with their anxiety. If the mother does not hear the son, he is angry at her intrusion into school affairs. It often happens: they come to a psychologist with a problem about teachers, and it turns out that the dialogue between the parent and the child is broken, and the situation at school is actually irrelevant.

Trust the teacher

Parents can do more for their child than trying to control their relationship with the teacher. For example, a mother will help both of them to interact calmly if she trusts the teacher and comes to terms with the idea that her son has a “school mother” whom he will love, admire, say how kind and beautiful she is. It is equally important that the child has a trusting relationship with the parents. Then he experiences external problems more easily, because he is sure that the main people are for him.

Speak calmly and confidently with the teacher

It is not difficult to conduct a constructive dialogue with the teacher if you speak not from an offended and aggressive, but from a confident and calm state. Try to meet four conditions.

First. In a conversation, it is important to hear each other, and when people are shouting, dialogue is impossible. If the teacher communicates in a raised voice, you can ask: "Yes, I can hear you. Can you speak two steps lower?"- and wait until the interlocutor begins to speak more calmly. Do not continue the conversation until your request is fulfilled.

Second. Clarify what the teacher expects from you, what kind of help he expects: "How exactly can I help you? What do you want from my son (my daughter)?"

Third. Let the teacher say what way he proposes: "How do you see the resolution of this situation?" Also voice your version - this will help to find common ground.

Fourth. Do not let the teacher insult and call unflattering words of your child, even if he is very guilty.

When a child sees that his parents are on his side and are able to solve difficulties without accusations, emotional attacks, he feels safe both at home and at school.

If the teacher is wrong, ask to apologize to the child

When you realize that a child has been treated unfairly, ask the teacher to apologize. The request must be specific, for example: "I ask you to apologize to my daughter for yelling at her in front of the whole class."

Do not complain about the teacher to the headmaster

The conflict situation is settled when there is no tension left in the relationship between the teacher and the student and school issues are resolved in the usual ways. An appeal to the director, to the education department is a forceful method that is used by people who are not in dialogue, but on the battlefield. If you want to help your child, support him, it is better to come to a consultation with a psychologist.

Interviewed by Irina Bareyko

When parents are called to school, it is always stressful for both the parents themselves and for the child who is expecting punishment. If parents are often called to school, then this is no longer just a nuisance - this is a problem that needs to be addressed.

If a child finds it difficult at school, he does not cope with the program, receives a lot of comments, has difficulty communicating with classmates, adults are almost always to blame. The most difficult thing in such a situation is to figure out which of the adults is to blame and who will be responsible for solving the problem.

There are always two sides: teachers and parents. And everyone, as a rule, always seeks to shift responsibility to the other side. While teachers and parents find out who is right, the child himself and his childhood problems remain out of work. So it turns out that there is a lot of talk, but the problem does not go anywhere. That is why the first rule should be remembered.

The responsibility for raising a child lies equally with you and the teachers. Therefore, on the way to school, set yourself up for a productive dialogue with the teacher.

Try to avoid a negative attitude - this can greatly facilitate your communication. If you perceive the teacher as your ally, then he will seek to help you. And if you immediately begin to look for flaws in his work, trying to justify your child, then the teacher will begin to defend himself from attacks.

Think about what you want from this meeting: help or excuses?

So, you came to the teacher and want to find a solution. Unfortunately, the productivity of your conversation depends not only on you. After all, the teacher may not have such a positive attitude. Some educators are very fond of calling parents to tell them how to raise children. This is especially true for teachers with more experience. They believe that their life and teaching experience allows them to interfere in your family affairs. In this matter, be steadfast. You do not tell the teacher how he should teach his subject. In the same way, the teacher should not interfere in your family affairs, this is not in his competence.

Don't let yourself be reprimanded for your child's misdeeds. After all, you are a parent, an adult, and do not need instructions. This position must be strictly adhered to, but without aggression, in order to avoid conflicts.

If the parent and teacher manage to steer the conversation in the right direction, then half the job is done. Together, finding a solution is much easier!

A young teacher I knew often complained about her student: “He is incredibly noisy! He constantly talks, does not let me say a word in class, always argues with me and tries to catch me on mistakes. It's very difficult for me to teach." When it became completely unbearable, the teacher called the parents to school. And later she admitted: “I really regret that I didn’t do it earlier. My parents helped me find a great solution: they advised me to turn Kolya into their ally. And now we check the answers of other students together with him. It has become much easier for me to work.”

A positive way out of a difficult situation turned out to be possible because both sides pursued the same goal - to solve the child's problem and make his stay in the lesson as productive as possible. As a result, the disadvantage turned into a virtue - the student's critical thinking was turned to his advantage.

If you can do the same, this is ideal.

But what to do if the dialogue with the teacher constantly turns into mutual accusations?

Moreover, you have already lost all hope of establishing contact with him, and calls to school are becoming more and more frequent ...

Then you have to solve the problem bypassing the teacher. It's much more difficult, but still possible.

First, analyze the situation as a whole.

From whom do complaints come: from one teacher or from several at once?
How is your child interacting with peers?
Who is your child talking to?

The answers to these questions will help you understand the situation more clearly.

If your child has no problems with either other teachers or peers, but you are constantly called to school by the same teacher, then it is likely that the problem is not in the child. Ask this question to the teacher in person, doesn’t it seem strange to him that only he has problems with the student, and all other teachers have a normal relationship with the child?

Ask other parents for advice, what if one of them was in the same situation, and therefore can help you?

If you have definitely found out that the problem lies in a particular teacher, feel free to go to the director. Since the teacher does not want to listen to you, let the authorities listen. Usually the school administration is tolerant of parents, so you will be listened to attentively.

Important! Don't let go! Be interested in what measures the administration has taken to solve your problem. If you lose interest, then the rest - even more so. The parent is the most interested person in the upbringing of children.

Even in such a situation, do not reproach the teacher in front of the child. After all, an adult will then finally lose authority in the eyes of a student, and this can lead to additional problems. The teacher cannot be replaced. Just convincing a child that he should obey a teacher who offended him and then turned out to be guilty will be very difficult.

When did it become clear that your child really has problems at school, talk to him. Calmly, without reproaches, this is very important.

Do you want your child to open up to you? Create comfortable conditions for him. Convince him that you are a friend who wants to help and will always support. Talk to him as an equal - this advice is relevant at every age.

How to punish and is it worth it?

Remember that no educational process is complete without punishment. When deciding to punish a child, make sure that the punishment is appropriate for the offense, that is, it is fair. If the child does not understand why he is scolded, then the punishment will be meaningless. If you punish a child, this does not mean that your conversation should be emotional. It is quite enough to calmly explain to him why he is being scolded, and announce the punishment.

A big and very common mistake many parents make is to forgive their child more than once for the same offense.

It is useful to understand that this is a matter of habit. After all, your child will understand that he can get away with everything, and therefore continue to do what he did. Forgive twice, so forgive a third time. It is quite logical to think so.

If you feel that you cannot find a solution on your own, do not hesitate to contact the experts. All schools have psychologists and social educators. They work there for you. Drop the prejudices that only bad children go to a psychologist. This is not true. Children whose parents care about their social and psychological comfort go to a psychologist. Agree that it is much better to solve the problem with the help of a specialist than not to solve it at all and continue to endure the eternal calls to school.